In the on-going boom of building offices, resorts, skyscrapers, and multi-floor bowling alleys, contractors have often-times (and almost always) skipped putting a "13th Floor" in their projects. I do my best to pay attention when I'm in the elevator to see if the building has allowed it to be left-out, or if they refuse to act like a pussy and let it exist. The chairman of Marriott International, J.W. "Bill" Marriott Jr. himself is quoted saying "It was one of the first things I learned: don't go to 13."
It's not because they're discouraged to do it, or because the devil herself (I'm talking about Rachel Ray, of course) lives on the 13th floor. It's simply because the public out-cry of mindless, window-licking, paranoid, reality-fearing assholes (and business owners who realize that having their offices on a "13th floor" might scare away the ideal consumers, a.k.a.: the easily manipulated morons who believe in a "13th floor" will give them Stigmata) who make such a mess of their diapers that we stopped putting a "13" in elevators. Who are these people??? A USA Today/Gallup Poll from 2007 showed that 87% of people are completely fine with a 13th floor, 13% might be bothered by it, and 9% of those people would DEFINITELY ask to have their room changed. Who are those 9%? Women over the age of 65 and/or those with household incomes of $30,000 or lower, will 84% of the time request to be moved to a different floor if first assigned to the 13th. Do I need to spell this out any further?
NINE PERCENT of the population controls why we don't see a 13 in the elevator. Ever wondered who NEEDS that warning label on the side of the bic lighter? Yep, this person.
These are the same people that don't understand the concept of waiting in line, driving in traffic, or using a backpack without wheels. These are the egocentric, inconsiderate, selfish, non-working morons that control the world as we know it. These people watch Fox News, buy Baby-on-Board stickers & magic bracelets that 'relieve pain,' and worse yet: these people are the reason Lifetime still makes movies. These are the people who request a "table by the window" because the table they were GIVEN by the window just somehow isn't what they wanted. Also, nine times out of ten this person will send back the $6 glass of shitty wine because they "don't like it." Well of course you don't like it, it's a SIX DOLLAR GLASS OF HOUSE RED, THAT'S WHY IT'S SIX DOLLARS. Listen, you bitch, the food will be the same, your server will be the same, but you INSIST on inconveniencing everyone else that follows the natural flow of a restaurant (that the 16 year-old hostess is making up as she goes along) because the view of the petunias has the shadow cast from the East and not from the South-east. Go home, because I know you won't tip me shit, either.
This person is also offended by very funny things, like this:
You might think I'm a cynic (I am), you might think I'm a dick (am that, too), but I'm just doing the best with what I have, which is everything. Please stop acting like the world has some crazy agenda to screw just you. But if you still believe that, all I can do then is consider you to be A.) ignorant. B.) Ann Coulter. C.) mentally unhealthy. Or, D.) All of these.
Think to yourself - how many times have you gotten into an elevator and seen a button for #13? The answer, I'll guess, is not many. Thank these assholes the next time you see them changing tables at a restaurant.