Yes, I know; I "cram too many words into every sentence" (sorry, Ms. Goyen) and sometimes reach for others that could make someone believe that I've read more books than I actually have. I don't clean my apartment as much as I wish I did and I can't cook hardly anything that doesn't have "add water" in the instructions. I don't share as much of myself as I should, either. There are more things that I'm not good at than I'm good at, and I've accepted long ago that I won't stumble upon a way to become a gazillionaire like Forrest Gump did (no thanks to you, Amazon Prime).
But I have me. And that's ok, I guess.
A friend reached out to me recently to ask for advice on walking away from a long-term relationship which had it's flame extinguished by Father Time & young-adult frustrations/selfishness. I told this person about something I had read a long time ago when I was in a similar situation about "Going To Bed Happy." The author suggested the best thing to do before bed is to write down one positive thing that you heard, learned, read, or saw that day just before falling asleep. Since normally this is the time spend re-living conversations (but imagining scenarios where you say bold & different things at high volumes that we all know we're not brave enough to actually say) & reminiscing about things you shouldn't. The theory is when you have a bad day or start thinking about what you could have done (or said) differently in the past, you can instead scroll back through the notebook and see how fortunate you've been to have pages of positive things happening around you all the time. On top of that, it encourages you to be on watch for positive things to write down that night, therefore you're always looking for the good in any situation. But I've also read (or pretended to read, see above) some Chuck Palahniuk books, too, and although his matter-of-factly delivery is perfectly insightful and I could probably learn a lot, I haven't retained any of it. Except this one quote:
"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt."
It felt sticky when I read it the first time, but as experts say: 'sticky things stick to sticky things,' (no expert says this, I know) and since 1987 my brain has been a proverbial flytrap for meaningless odds & ends like that. When the day comes that we're able to dissect the information stored in our heads, mine will look like a hoarder found a garage full of thesauruses and abandoned all hope of ever leaving. And empty pickle jars. Lots of empty pickle jars.
I wanted to share that quote with the aforementioned friend, but didn't. Sure, I'm empathetic to this person's situation, but it's also very different and it's not right of me to assume that my way of doing things is also best for them. I'm happy to give advice, but take it at your own risk. Instead, I chose to share another quote that sums up the ideology and mantra behind 'moving on' and accepting the cards you were dealt:
"You can't control the wind, but you can choose where you set your sails."
Here's to hoping you'll be out of rough seas soon, my friend, and I know your boat will stay afloat; rocking comfortably & onward; right out of your fireman's net.